HONOR: Be True to Yourself and to Others
by Norman Vincent Peale

CONFIDENCE
From time to time every person looks ahead at the future and wonders what it holds. He is also likely to ask himself how he can bring about a future that is one of dignity, honor, usefulness and fulfillment. You and I wonder: What will be my future in this chaotic world? If you want to hitch your wagon to dignity, honor, usefulness and fulfillment, I can think of no better way than to observe the powerful text of Romans 8:28. If you dedicate your life to loving God, everything that happens to you—harsh, painful, hard though it may be—combines with all the rest of your experience for good. If you are in harmony with God’s will and mindful of his love, your life will turn difficulties into blessings, chaos into order, discouragement into victory.

STRENGTH
Just because you have had moments of weakness, don’t believe that you are weak at heart. Even the strongest among us have fallen short. When soldiers arrested Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, his disciples scurried away in fear. But Peter followed at a distance to the high priest’s house. He crept up to a fire in the courtyard where three bystanders identified him as a follower of Jesus. After Peter denied him the third time, Jesus caught his eye and looked straight at him. Peter fled and wept bitterly. Three times he had weakened and betrayed his Savior. But later, this same Peter rededicated himself to Jesus. He lived and died for his Lord so that others would know Jesus and love him as Peter did.

Don’t let past weakness define who you are. Leave it behind like Peter. Turn your regret into strength: Serve the Lord, do your duty, be honorable, and you will be at peace with yourself.  

HAPPINESS
A couple I had married complained that they were no longer happy together and sought my advice. You can be sure I gave it to them, and here is the very core of what I said. Achieving happiness is a particularly American expectation, and it seems that we demand it more zealously from marriage than from any other institution. However, the marriage ceremony doesn’t mention a word about happiness.

I sometimes wonder if this obsession with being happy—of having things just the way we want them—isn’t becoming a kind of American disease. What we need to get back in our marriages and our lives are the qualities of toughness, endurance and honor.   The key to success in all human relationships is as simple as mastering the art of giving happiness. Instead of expecting happiness, give it. Yes, to do that you have to put someone else first. But when you master the art of giving happiness, you will discover that you can’t give it without getting it back.  

HONESTY
I’ve had people tell me that it doesn’t pay to be good. From the days of Job right up to the here and now the righteous have suffered, while the evil have flourished like the green bay tree. Never mind. No good thing is withheld from those who are upright. We are designed so that our heads climb toward the sky. We have an “up thrust” about us. We have minds that can reach beyond the stars, even to the intricacies of space. Stand tall in posture and be upright in all things, as God meant you to be. Reach up until you make contact with the great flow of truth. Once you do, no good thing in this great universe will be denied you.   

DEDICATION
In the museum at Independence Hall in Philadelphia hang the portraits of the founders of America, the writers of the Declaration of Independence, as well as the signers. When I studied these portraits, I observed that each man appears to have the eyes of a daredevil. The eyes of these intellectual and cultured men seem to say, “We know that by signing this document we will be hanged as rebels if our nation fails. But we believe in freedom; we pledge our fortunes and our sacred honor for something that is great.”

You cannot look at these men’s portraits without being affected. They inspire you to say, “I too must dedicate myself to something big in my time.” If our founders created freedom in their time, it is our opportunity to save it in ours. This is being big; this is being great. Dare to take big steps to keep America the haven our founders created it to be.   

RESPECT
Take a good look at yourself in front of a mirror. Is there a good person looking back at you? How do you feel about you? Do you have a clear conscience? Are you comfortable in your own skin?

If not, there is something you can do. I will guarantee that if you do it and make a practice of it, then you will like the person who appears when you stand before a mirror. Fix one word in your mind: Others. Always be mindful of them. How much you respect and honor others in your thoughts and deeds is directly related to how much you respect yourself. It is impossible to reach out to another in need and then not feel great.  

COURAGE
Following a speech I made in Boston to a gathering of salespeople, a nice-looking couple in their early 40s came up to me. The wife asked if she could shake my hand because she had read some of my books and, through them, felt a kinship with me.

“Also,” she added, “I thought that if I could just take your hand it would help me. Recently we lost our little boy. He was only seven. He was a happy child and everyone loved him. He was playing with some other children near a construction site when a heavy plank fell on him and killed him instantly.”

I shook her hand and then told her how sorry I was. “How long ago did this happen?”

“Six weeks,” she answered.

“You are meeting your loss very bravely,” I said.

“We see it like this,” she said. “We have three other children and we don’t want to bring gloom and sadness into our home. We must think of them, as well as ourselves. “We know the good Lord will sustain us and help us handle our sorrow so that our family may grow stronger as a result of our little boy’s death.”

“Give me back your hand,” I said and took her husband’s hand too. “You are an inspiration to me.”

Tragedy, death and emotional pain did not defeat this couple. Instead they honored their commitment to their family. They chose life so that their family could live abundantly.  

VIRTUE
On Christmas Eve when I was seven, I was with my father, loaded down with packages, tired and annoyed, anxious to get home, when a bleary-eyed, unshaven, old man touched my hand and asked for money. Instinctively I recoiled and brushed him aside.

My father said, “Norman, you should not treat a man that way.”

“But, Dad, he’s nothing but a bum.”

“Bum?” he replied. “There is no such thing. Maybe he hasn’t made the most of himself, but he is a child of God. Always look on a person with esteem.” My father handed me a dollar, which was a lot for him, and said, “I want you to go up to him and tell him you are giving him this dollar in the name of God.”

“Oh,” I said, “I don’t want to do that.”

“Go and do as I tell you.”

The man had shuffled away, so I ran up to him and said, “Excuse me, sir. I give you this dollar in the name of God.” The man looked at me in astonishment. Then a wonderful smile spread over his face, a smile full of life and beauty. I forgot that he was dirty and unshaven. I could see his real face through the grime.

Graciously, he said, “I thank you, sir, in the name of God.”

My annoyance vanished. The very street suddenly seemed beautiful. I had a glimpse of the transformation that comes over people when you honor them as children of God.

This article is from the booklet, Honor: Be True to Yourself and to Others.