Wow! Thanks for reading my blog. I had to re-read it to remember what I'd written. You're right that I needed a nudge to get back to it. I've been working a lot and devoting my "Our Prayer" time to being a prayer volunteer. I pray for one person each day, two if there's time.
My job has evolved a lot over the course of the school year. I'm certified to teach 7-12 Math in TN, but I was hired to teach music and help out in math classrooms as needed, working only 3 days per week. We got a new principal in late November, and she found out in late December that 12 of our teachers were teaching out of their certification areas. So...we had a big shuffle of classes. There was a lot of talk about making me a full-time teacher. One day I would go in thinking that I'd be starting full-time, and then it would change. One thing this job has done is really relax me. I burn off a lot of extra energy, and I'm really doing a good job of rolling with the punches and going with the flow. Cliche, but true. I can even get my paperwork in on time!
In the middle of January, I was made chair of the Leadership Team for our School Improvement Plan. The SIP is a requirement to get Title I dollars, which we are eligible for. 87.5% of our kids are on free or reduced lunch (FARL). We are hiring 5 or 6 new people with our money, and I'm one of them. I'll be full-time for real, starting tomorrow, and my title is No Child Left Behind Program Specialist (NCLB PS). Public school alphabet soup!
I was reaching a point of frustration just before Spring Break because our funding document (ASA) hadn't been approved, yet I knew it was on the desk of the Nashville Schools (MNPS) Federal Programs director. Anyway, it got approved on Friday, around noon, so we're good to go. Thanks be to God! God is good...all the time! Now we can get our new teachers and tutors in the building and start working with kids who are behind. The idea is that they get extra help to bring them up to proficiency in Math and Reading.
Another unexpected wrinkle in my life is that I've been encouraged, strongly, to become an administrator. I never wanted to be one, but so many people keep telling me I can and should do it that I'm in the process of applying to Lipscomb University. I even had to re-take the GRE! Weird that my son and I are both applying to schools so close to the same time. It's will be OK for me to go back, because my kids are really adjusting well to my working, and Don is really supportive.
I've observed that our pre-service education programs do a poor job of preparing new teachers for classroom management. I'm hoping that the current trend of requiring a year of teacher "residency" will take hold. Another great option is the 5-year Master of Education, where the 5th year is a teaching internship. Also, the notion of Instructional Rounds, similar to Medical Rounds, is a profound idea that is going to make a huge difference in MNPS. We have a new Director of Schools, Dr. Jesse Register, with a great track record. He improved the Chattanooga schools while he was there, and I really like him so far.
I had a big blow in mid-January. My birthfather said that he needs a "relational fast" from me for the year 2010. So, I can't call him anymore. His wife can't handle that Pop still loves my birthmom, even if it's from 46+ years ago. So, I've prayed a lot about that, and I feel my feelings. My husband and I talked about it enough that I know he understands, and he's a great support to me always. I still pray for Pop and his wife everyday, but I took them off of my Facebook friends list so I wouldn't have to see posts from them. I also took away the connection that allows him to see photos of us that I post. To me, that felt like a proper boundary to set for myself.
Again, thanks so much for your interest and for reading what I wrote.
I'm starting a new teaching position after 12 years out of the classroom. That's 12 years that I took off after giving birth to twin girls in 1996. I made the choice to put my 3 children first and give up a successful and growing career as a math teacher.
It was hard at first staying home. "Teacher" was what I was. "Mom" took away my identity. I stopped being Mrs. Boehm and became "_____'s Mom." It was a strange thing..neither fish nor fowl.
Then I tutored for 9 years and did various volunteer jobs. I also wasted a lot of time and isolated myself in the house.
During this time I've had two miscarriages, found my Birthmother, been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II, found my Birthfather, worked the 12 Steps of Al-Anon, and generally grown up a lot.
I feel the wrench of my children growing up not to need me as much, and it is time for me to start my career again. I'm teaching music and math in a charter school. It is a new school, and I have limited experience in teaching classroom music.
It is an opportunity to learn and grow. Also, it looks like my music career, which I've always dreamed about, may be coming to fruition.
I'm very grateful for the opportunity to learn, work and grow. I'm also grateful for the excitement, happiness, fatigue and frustration that come along with this big change.
Thanks be to God for giving me the chance. I pray for help to make the best of each day.
May I be the eyes and ears, hands and feet, of Christ in the world.
Each time one of m ychildren has a birthday, I rejoice in the milestone. I have a son, who is 3 years older than his identical twin sisters. Especially when the girls have a birthday, I feel their accomplishments as well as my own. Parenting twins is hard work. Each year they gain more independence and individuality. The first few years were grueling, yet fun as well. As we've gone down the road, the fun level has increased. The time is also bittersweet, because they need me less and less. My son is driving now and will be headed to college in two years. Seems like he was just born and now is headed out the door.
I thank God for the gift of the children and realize that my job is to work myself out of a job. God takes care of them, and I can't protect them forever. I have to let go, which makes me feel sad, yet I also feel so happy and proud of them.
Parenting is an admixture of all emotions, and I love it. I pray for the grace to continue to parent the children God has given me, to cherish and respect them, and to be able to let them grow.
When we arrived at our hotel in Gainesville, FL on the way to our vacation/reunion, I realized I had left all of my usual morning reading and journeling materials at home.
I emailed three friends, one of whom is my Pop. He responded that I should just keep it simple and do two things: Pray for help in the morning. Give thanks in the evening.
I've been doing it. I pray for help throughout the day, and God helps me. To do this, I have to listen and look for the help throughout the day. It comes. God speaks to me through others and helps me to keep a worthy, positive attitude.
Each evening, I can look back in gratitude on the good things that have happened throughout the day.
Also, I've been using the extra time to play the guitar, spending at least an hour a day playing, practicing, and noodling.
The frustrations diminish and pale in the many blessings that I can see if I just look for them.
Lately I've been guided by the fact that God wants me to live happy, joyous and free. All of my loved ones who have gone on are still here with me in the timelessness of God's plan. Although I sometimes feel happy, sad, angry or afraid, these things pass, and I strive to die to my own self-will and place myself evermore in God's will.
I'm now in the phase of life where plans have ended and dreams are coming true. In younger years I thought I knew what I wanted from life. Now I am seeking what I'm meant to give and to be in this life.
Two prayers I say daily:
Freedom Prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola:
Take, Lord, receive all my freedom, my memory, my intelligence and my will. All that I have and possess. You, Lord, have given these things to me. I now give them back to you. All belongs to you. Dispose of these gifts according to your Will. I only ask for your Love and your Grace, for they are enough for me.
The Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
These are my two prayers and my prayer focus lately.
