50 years of marriage! Now that’s an amazing event to celebrate – especially in this fast moving society we live in today where many marriages fail. This past weekend I had the joy of celebrating the golden anniversary of my sister Shirley and her husband Cecil.
It brings laughter to my heart and tears to my eyes when I think about this special couple. Shirley and Cecil are fun, loyal, trustworthy people that you would want to have as your friends. How lucky I am that they are both my family and my friends.
I want to tell you a little bit about them. Shirley is my big sister, and we were born on a farm in Nebraska. As I was growing up, Shirley was my hero and my mentor. It seemed like there wasn’t anything she couldn’t do. She was fearless. She could swing higher than anyone I knew and parachute into a stack of hay when the swing was at its highest point. She could climb up on the barn roof and run around. She rode a big bicycle without many instructions and managed to slam into the back of a hay wagon since she hadn’t quite gotten the hang of the brakes yet. But she didn’t whimper or complain. Shirley was smart, beautiful, enthusiastic, and caring, and she became a Master teacher winning the Outstanding Teacher Award for her skills.
Cecil grew up in South Carolina. He was an only son with plenty of sisters, so he took it upon himself to screen out his sisters’ boyfriends, sending them away, if they weren’t up to his standards: “She’s out on a date. She didn’t want to see you.” He became a successful engineer much sought after even into his retirement years.
Shirley and Cec don’t have time to be “retired” or “tired.” They live their lives fully in Anaheim, California, where they care for their neighborhood, their church, stray animals, and many people – including our parents Alma and Wilson Haupt before their deaths, their daughter Sheryl, their granddaughters Natalie and Emily, and me too. I’ll never forget when I had been diagnosed with a brain tumor years ago, and I called my big sister to tell her the news. She was making plane reservations to be with me before I got off the phone. Later she told me that if I had ended up incapacitated, she would have driven me across the country to move me into the guest room of their home.
I thank God for the blessing of Shirley and Cecil in my life. Their love and compassion for each other and for many others have taken them through five decades. That is amazing!
Beloved God, thank you for Shirley and Cecil and for their 50 years of marriage. Bless them and let them know that they are much loved – especially by their little sister Joy. May we follow their model of compassion and devotion as we walk on the journey of life. Amen.
I woke up this weekend realizing that the days were getting shorter and cooler, that it felt like there was a bit of autumn in the air. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this change of seasons, and it caused me to reflect on life and its changes.
Whether we like it or not, change is a part of life. It can be in our relationships, our home life, our work, our finances, our physical or spiritual lives. However, because our lives seem to be changing so quickly in a fast moving world, it can be frightening. With so much change occurring, we may feel uneasy or out of control. We may not realize that even as life is speeding by, we can choose how we will respond, that we can experience God’s gifts of peace, calm, and love.
Sometimes when we are going through a time of change, we may understand how vulnerable we are or how precious life is to us. We may see that our lives have become sloppy, that we aren’t very careful about what we choose to do with our precious days on earth. We might not give thought to what we hold as sacred. Indeed, life is very brief. It's sobering to think that there isn't endless time left for us to live. It can make us want to use our time really well. If we live our life as if we only had one day left to live, then the sense of impermanence heightens the feeling of preciousness, passion, and gratitude.
Although change can be frightening to us, it can also provide new opportunities for growth. We may want to think of positive things that have occurred when we have faced change or times of transition. Likely we have developed skills or attitudes that can help us go through other major transitions in a healthy way. Perhaps we can affirm that we are changing, we are growing, we are learners, we are filled with potential. Our job is to try to gather wisdom from our life experiences and then to live a transformed life.
Yes, we face change every day and are always in transition. And we have no idea what life will be like in the future. But we can make good choices about changes we want to make in order to live our lives fully and meaningfully. Even when we feel busy or rushed, it’s important that we stop, listen, reflect, and pray so that we will become aware of God's loving presence. We can listen to what God may be telling us to do.
Beloved Creator, thank you for creating a world full of surprises and changes. When we are in transition on our journey or we face major changes, help us to learn from our experiences. May we realize that you are always there for us, even during major changes in our lives. Amen.
This past weekend I preached at the beautiful Stone Church in Cragsmoor, New York. I've been preaching there every summer for the last eight years. The Stone Church is truly a sacred space sitting on the top of one of the Shawangunk Mountains overlooking an awesome view of the Catskills.
The text for my sermon was about the uninvited woman, who is called a sinner, who kneels before Jesus while he is a dinner guest at a Pharisee's home (Luke 7). There she bathes his feet with her tears and dries them with her hair. I am deeply impressed by this woman's courage. I doubt that I would have had the guts to go into someone's home – especially if I had not been invited – and touch Jesus. His tender response to her was: “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
As I prepared my sermon, I started looking at other stories of women who had shown great courage when they had interacted with Jesus. I remembered the woman who had been hemorrhaging for 12 years and was considered unclean. She must have sneaked out of her house in order to go to the road where Jesus was walking. When he passed her, she reached out to touch the hem of his clothes, and immediately her hemorrhage stopped. And Jesus knew that power had gone out from him. Imagine that woman's courage! As an unclean person, she was willing to approach Jesus and touch him – in spite of the fact that she was only a woman, and an unclean one. And Jesus told her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”
Finally I think of Mary, the Mother of Jesus. If I had been a teenage girl and an angel came fluttering toward me and told me that I was to be the mother of God, I would have run away so fast that you would have seen skid marks on the pavement. But Mary courageously embraced the task and stuck it out with Jesus – even when he seemed to reject her by saying, “Who is my family?” Yes, she was there at the foot of the cross when the terrified disciples ran away. Not that I blame them. I confess that likely I wouldn't have been one of those strong women at the foot of the cross with Mary.
It's important to remember these stories. Perhaps they will help us to have more courage to do what these brave women did: to reach out to Jesus even when we haven't been invited, even when we are not clean, even when we feel rejected, even when we are scared out of our minds.
Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us. We are people who are not always strong or courageous. Remind us to reach out to you at all times – even when we are not invited, when we feel unforgiven or shameful, when we are afraid. Help us to remember that our faith can heal us and make us whole. Amen.
While I was in Greece this past week celebrating my friend John's 90th birthday (see my blog of August 9), I thought a lot about what it means to be family. Many of John's family members traveled to Greece to be a part of the special birthday celebration: his children, grandchildren, even a former son-in-law with his family from France. And there were other people who came long distances for the celebration – including me, who traveled from the United States.
As I spent the week with John and Nancy and their family, I felt truly accepted as a member of their family – whether we were out in the garden pruning olive trees or driving around in John's ancient car (named Margareta) or eating Nancy's awesome Greek meals deliciously seasoned with olive oil (from their own trees) and lemon.
When John gave his birthday speech, he talked about the importance of having friends and family, and how much that had meant to him over the years. Indeed it had been one of the most important parts of his life. So it was a special thrill when John and his wife Nancy introduced me as part of their “family.”
Upon my return to New York City, I looked up the definition of family and found there are many including:
• A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.
• A group of persons sharing common ancestry.
• A group of individuals derived from a common stock: the family of human beings.
• Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another.
I particularly like the last definition; it feels right to me. I love and appreciate the members of my own family with whom I share a common ancestry. But I am grateful that I can also be part of other families who share goals, values, and commitments.
It reminds me that we are all children of God, that every one of us is a member of God's family. Now that's a rather awesome thought.
Beloved God, may we remember that you are our parent, that no matter what we do or how we act, we are your children and members of your family. We need your guidance and help to be children worthy of this honor that you have bestowed upon us. Thank you for being our compassionate parent. Amen.
This week my friend John celebrated his 90th birthday. If you met John, you would guess that his energy, enthusiasm, and mental capacity would make him be less than 50. What a whirlwind he is. He works and plays hard helping his neighbors, tending to his olive trees, entertaining friends, keeping up with happenings in the world, swimming in the sea. He absolutely loves life and lives it to the fullest.
As I approached John's birthday, I thought a lot about aging. As we move through life, we are not always careful about what we choose to do with our precious days on earth. We hardly give thought to what we hold sacred. But life is brief and we are growing older every day. Even if we live to be more than a hundred, it's still a very short time to live. And the length of our lives as healthy people is unpredictable. Maybe we have fifty more years to live, or maybe we don't have one more day.
It's sobering to think there isn't a whole lot of time left for us. It makes us want to use our time well – like John does. Perhaps if we lived our life as if we only had one day left, then the sense of impermanence might heighten the feeling of preciousness and gratitude.
I came up with five questions that I want to ask myself as I grow older:
1) What are aspects of my present life that I value and enjoy that I would like to have with me all the days of my life? How can I make that happen?
2) What are special, meaningful strengths or gifts that I have that will be useful to me as I grow older?
3) Are there issues or concerns that cause me pain that I want to liberate myself from? Grief? guilt? sadness? What can I do about that?
4) What are elements of my life I want to develop further or are not yet finished?
5) What might be new options, new growth, new possibilities that could be open to me as I grow older?
Perhaps like John, we might want to remember this truth: Every day we have fewer days left to live a meaningful life. Let us live our lives fully.
Divine Creator, may we take the time to ponder our lives and to fill our days with your Presence. Help us explore our lives with peace and compassion. Teach us how to enjoy the daily things of our lives. O God, open us to new possibilities as we grow older. Help us to feel your love in our lives. Amen.
Recently I've noticed a lot of what I call “loving and giving people” who appear to be tired, discouraged, or running on empty. I started thinking about who is a “giver of care” and came to the realization that it is each one of us – to a greater or lesser degree at different times in our lives.
Giving care to someone can be stressful because of the many demands on our time and energy coupled with other feelings we might have such as regret, resentment, anger, helplessness, frustration – with life and even with God. Perhaps guilt is one of the most common problems, the dilemma of not being able to do it all or do enough.
There are certain aspects of giving care that can cause us to feel exhausted and discouraged especially if we have unrealistic self-expectations, believe that we should be a never-ending fountain of good cheer and strength for others at all times, think we should be doing more – in order to feel worthy or acceptable, have few or no boundaries, or don't allow ourselves to take breaks and care for ourselves. Yes, that could happen to any of us.
When are we most likely to get fatigued or burned out? I believe it can happen when we have an insatiable need to solve the problems of others or of the world, if we set impossible goals for ourselves rather than being content with smaller reachable goals, if we have a low self-esteem, and if we don't allow ourselves to rest.
So what can we do to be healthier, better givers of care? I think it's important to start by following the lesson taught by Jesus: love your neighbor as you love yourself. It's difficult to be good givers of care if we are not cared for ourselves. So we need to recognize and respond to our own needs, admit and forgive our own limitations, refuel our bodies and souls, be gentle and compassionate with ourselves – as well as with others. Also, it would help if we kept more balance in our lives, along with a sense of humor. Finally, perhaps the most important thing we can do is take time to reach out to God in prayer.
Beloved Giver of Care, we are at times weary and disheartened. But you have promised that if we come to you, you will restore our souls and give us rest. Help us to learn that we don't have to do everything, that we can turn things over to you, and that we need to learn to love ourselves as well as our neighbor. Thank you for caring for us. Amen.
I have a bird feeder in the backyard of my little beach house, so I have lots of birds. They come to find their favorite foods at my bird buffet: suet for woodpeckers; thistle for the Goldfinch, and safflower seeds for Cardinals, Chickadees, Nuthatch, and other small birds. When I added another arm on the feeder this summer, I had an extra place to hang something. It seemed the perfect spot for a “decorative” white birdhouse with a blue roof – it went with the décor.
The following week, I saw that a wren was building a nest in the “decorative” house in the middle of what felt like Birdy Grand Central Station. I carefully removed the house and hung it on a corner of the grape arbor – a more private place for a new family. But I was concerned that the wren might abandon the house due to my invasion of his property. So I was pleased to see that he didn't miss a beat – carrying twigs into the tiny hole of the house in its new location and singing like a lovesick maniac.
It wasn't long before the petite Mrs. Wren arrived and took up residence while Mr. Wren sang his heart out on the nearby rhododendron bush. During the last weeks I've heard the peeping sounds of baby wrens and watched as Mom and Pop have worked overtime feeding their loud children with their demanding ever-open mouths.
But the real treat came this weekend. As I was sitting on my terrace sharing a cup of coffee with a neighbor, I noticed a very noisy baby wren sitting on the grape arbor flapping her wings, her mouth in the “feed-me” position. It was the moment of truth: the time to leave the nest. Later another little guy carefully came out the “front door,” sat on the perch outside the house, flapped his wings, and decided to return to the safety of the nest. He must have done that three times before Mom came along and either cajoled or pushed him out of the house. And to his surprise he found he could fly. That evening I saw the little wrens playing on my swing under the arbor. At some point they returned to their nest to be in the security and comfort of their home sweet home. But the days of hanging out at their safe home are almost over. Soon they will leave the nest completely to be adult birds and make it on their own.
Ah, I thought, we are so much like those little birds. We don't want to have to leave our secure and comfortable nests. We are afraid to venture out into the world. We are afraid of falling or failing. But God, our parent, encourages us to leave the nest, to grow, to try out our wings, even to experience the joy of flying.
Beloved parent God, you know how hard it is for us to leave the security of our nests. We feel afraid, insecure, uncertain that we can do things on our own. But you are always there with us – if only we could trust and believe. Indeed, with you all things are possible, and we may even discover that we can fly. Thank you for all these gifts. Amen.
This past weekend I visited my friends who recently moved to Maine and are in the process of restoring a charming old house. While I was there, I met the contractor who is overseeing the restoration: a kind and gentle man whom I shall call “Jack.” Jack is a Vietnam vet, who is physically fit, positive-spirited, and truly content with his life.
When I first talked with Jack, I was surprised to learn that he had been a soldier in Vietnam, a place that often has painful memories for veterans and a place where I had developed programs for Save the Children after the American War. In my work over the years, I met many veterans and had taken some into Vietnam to meet Vietnamese veterans. Many vets found such a visit to be healing for themselves.
After his return from Vietnam, Jack didn't have much money or other resources, but he knew that he wanted to work with his hands and to live close to the earth. He did whatever work he could find. Eventually he was able to buy a little plot of land on a mountain in Maine and put up a tent near a spring-fed stream where he could collect water. Over the years, Jack cleared the land, built a beautiful house, planted an enormous vegetable garden, dug a pond, and established a fruit orchard.
When I asked Jack how he had made his existence so rich and filled with such joy, he responded that life is all about choices. “It would have been easy to have felt bitter and unappreciated when I returned home from what was a very unpopular war,” he said. “But I knew that wouldn't help me. I learned that my body and soul would heal best from the pain and 'guilt' of war if I chose to live a simple, healthy life – one that was well-grounded in the earth and filled with compassion. So I've chosen to try to live out what I believe, and to love whatever I have and whatever is around me.”
As I left the beautiful land that Jack has chosen to passionately tend and love, it was very clear that he had made wise choices for his life and that his choices were touching other peoples' lives in positive ways.
Divine Giver of Choices, thank you for people like Jack. As we go through life, we are aware of the many choices that are available to us. We ask that you will help us to live well-grounded and simple lives. May we tenderly care for this beautiful earth where we live and make wise choices in our lives. Amen.
It's been really hot in New York City – we've been breaking the heat records. It seems that summer has come straight into our windows, our homes, our streets, our lives. People barely seem to be moving as the heat blasts off the stone buildings and up from the concrete sidewalks. Air conditioners roar away, there have been power outages, and the blazing sun is drying up flowers and plants everywhere. A lot of people are complaining that it's too hot, that it's too early to have this kind of weather so early in the season. Many say they hope the skies will open up, and we will have a major rainstorm.
But I know that in many places in New York City – and around the world – there isn't air conditioning – not even fans to help people cool down. People are hanging out windows, sitting on fire escapes and stoops trying to catch a tiny bit of breeze. Some are getting sick or even dying from heat stroke.
If my father were alive, he would remind me that in every event or happening, even in every discomfort, we can learn something – if we are open to it. He told me the drought and Dust Bowl of the 1930s taught people a lot of important lessons. So what can we learn from this season of high temperatures? Certainly we know it is a time to slow down our fast lives, to walk more slowly, to sit quietly, to meditate on the changes in the climate and what we might need to do about that. And certainly we should be more compassionate and caring for people who are less privileged than we are.
As I slow down and ponder the heat, I'm remembering Ecclesiastes 3: “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted.” Yes, there is so much to learn.
Beloved Creator, as we go through these days of heat, help us to learn something. May we take appropriate actions of compassion and kindness to others and to our planet. May we be reminded to slow down, to leave our work behind, to rest and restore our souls. May we feel the heat of Your Presence in our lives. Amen.
The summer is flying by, and already we have celebrated the 4th of July - the day that Americans remember the Declaration of Independence and separation from Great Britain on July 4, 1776. The 4th of July has become a holiday that most Americans celebrate with festivities including gatherings of family and friends, parades, fireworks, cookouts. Flags wave, bands march, and bystanders cheer. But what is the real meaning of this day? What do we really mean when we say independence and freedom?
This year I decided to ponder the significance of Independence Day by considering some of the words of John Adams, one of the founders of our country.
On July 3, 1776, John Adams wrote his now famous letter to his wife Abigail. I hope his words will help us to put this celebration into perspective. (This is the exact text from his letter with his original spellings.) “The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.” (The Book of Abigail and John: Selected Letters of the Adams Family, 1762-1784).
As John Adams stated, perhaps we should always remember Independence Day as a Day of Deliverance and celebrate it with solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. We have so much to be grateful for, so many freedoms, so many choices, so many blessings. Life can be truly abundant, if we choose to be open to it. May we celebrate and honor our liberation, our freedom, our blessings through gratitude and prayer.
Beloved Creator, we thank you for creating us as your children in this amazing world. Thank you so much for the gifts of freedom, of liberty, of life. May we celebrate our “independence” with solemn acts of devotion to You, our God Almighty. Amen.
50 years of marriage! Now that’s an amazing event to celebrate – especially in this fast moving society we live in today where many marriages fail. This past weekend I had the joy of celebrating the golden anniversary of my sister Shirley and her husband Cecil. 
I woke up this weekend realizing that the days were getting shorter and cooler, that it felt like there was a bit of autumn in the air. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this change of seasons, and it caused me to reflect on life and its changes. 
This past weekend I preached at the beautiful Stone Church in Cragsmoor, New York. I've been preaching there every summer for the last eight years. The Stone Church is truly a sacred space sitting on the top of one of the Shawangunk Mountains overlooking an awesome view of the Catskills. 
This week my friend John celebrated his 90th birthday. If you met John, you would guess that his energy, enthusiasm, and mental capacity would make him be less than 50. What a whirlwind he is. He works and plays hard helping his neighbors, tending to his olive trees, entertaining friends, keeping up with happenings in the world, swimming in the sea. He absolutely loves life and lives it to the fullest. 
Recently I've noticed a lot of what I call “loving and giving people” who appear to be tired, discouraged, or running on empty. I started thinking about who is a “giver of care” and came to the realization that it is each one of us – to a greater or lesser degree at different times in our lives. 
I have a bird feeder in the backyard of my little beach house, so I have lots of birds. They come to find their favorite foods at my bird buffet: suet for woodpeckers; thistle for the Goldfinch, and safflower seeds for Cardinals, Chickadees, Nuthatch, and other small birds. When I added another arm on the feeder this summer, I had an extra place to hang something. It seemed the perfect spot for a “decorative” white birdhouse with a blue roof – it went with the décor. 
It's been really hot in New York City – we've been breaking the heat records. It seems that summer has come straight into our windows, our homes, our streets, our lives. People barely seem to be moving as the heat blasts off the stone buildings and up from the concrete sidewalks. Air conditioners roar away, there have been power outages, and the blazing sun is drying up flowers and plants everywhere. A lot of people are complaining that it's too hot, that it's too early to have this kind of weather so early in the season. Many say they hope the skies will open up, and we will have a major rainstorm. 
The summer is flying by, and already we have celebrated the 4th of July - the day that Americans remember the Declaration of Independence and separation from Great Britain on July 4, 1776. The 4th of July has become a holiday that most Americans celebrate with festivities including gatherings of family and friends, parades, fireworks, cookouts. Flags wave, bands march, and bystanders cheer. But what is the real meaning of this day? What do we really mean when we say independence and freedom?